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Name: Jewell
Years: I am 29

Anyone gone to "couples clubs"?

Earlier in the evening, my preschool teacher friend joked that seeing a school parent tonight would be the cruellest form of torture. What must these people do in real life, we wondered. Hanging by my head is a smorgasbord of leather whips and wooden paddles. People being whipped, tied-up and fondled in dark corners.

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An escort spills on the types of women who want to become one. Photo: iStock Source:Whimn.

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The dirty old lady insisted on attendingall dressed as skanky nurses. So, imagine her reaction when she spotted a man, who two days ago was doing story time with a group of four-year-olds, standing half-naked at the cloakroom hitting on a gimp. The costumes were incredibly detailed and incredibly sexy.

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Still, tonight has been enough to pique my curiosity to explore this world a little further. And good for them.

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Imagine if the outside world was like this? The dancefloor is packed with people dressed in the most intense outfits.

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The man keeps switching them out, flogging me with one, two, maybe three, at a time. Tonight feels like some kind of sexy, living art show.

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The dress code is no effort, no entry. Can he touch my breast?

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Turns out, being hit with paddle brings back memories of the cranky nun who ran my Catholic primary school, instead of getting me wet. Seriously, we told her — what are the chances?

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Of course, I oblige. Nicola had never been to a fetish party before, but wasn't afraid to get in on the action. Uncomfortable receiving oral sex? Whimn March 13, am. The handle of one whip is a vibrator. Arse-cheeks are being spanked everywhere.

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Several gimps hang out by the cloakroom; a unicorn leans against the bar; a couple dressed as a surgeon and mental patient are tying each other to ropes that are hanging from the ceiling. I ponder all this while strapped to the A-frame, my arse now raw and my self-consciousness taking over.

However, it all seems fairly PG and harmless.

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Celebrate Earth Day every day with eco-friendly pleasure tools. With that in mind, I try not to judge when a man fingers his dance partner right next to me. As he slides it up my leather skirt, a current of pleasure shoots around my body.

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Not according to my possibly overblown definition of kink, anyway. Some are just regular blokes who seem to enjoy throwing on a nice dress and downing a few beers. Not even in a particularly kinky way. More strangely, a few guys are wearing collars, leather harnesses and dog masks. Nicola Crosley.

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