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Name: Fanny
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With trust and communication, sex got the thrill without the actual club of cheating. The actual amount I spent over the course of the evening? Not even a little bit. The Uber ride? Not in the slightest. Sort of, and also sort of not. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter so she gets more followers than that influencer her husband dated in high school. I have absolutely no idea how any of it works, and as someone who studies a restaurant menu for DAYS before actually going to said restaurant, the night amount of unknowns is the scariest part of all.

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On the other hand, seeing someone in latex gloves scrub down a chaise lounge after four couples orgasmed all over it was slightly unappealing. Yes, stuff happened with strangers.

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Well, not that kind of sushi, anyway sorry, mom. So, the thought of walking around a venue where my husband would not only be looking at other women, but potentially be solicited by said women, seems like a special circle of hell specifically reserved sex me. A post shared by U Up? Podcast uuppod on Nov 25, at pm PST. When I club my ideal sex club, it involves a lot of people who are between the ages of, say, and of the same general attractiveness as I am.

Very weird. Like in almost any night situation, the sex club offered a wide variety of people of varying attractiveness. The thing is, the people at sex clubs are used to other people coming into sex clubs, especially the newbies.

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Will there be a dungeon with cheap chains and posters of bars on the wall? Walking into the club and ing waivers and getting a tour of the nearly-empty facility? That still did not prepare me for looking at my credit card statement the next morning. Very, VERY weird.

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Everywhere you looked, hand sanitizer dispensers were mounted on walls, fresh towels were being laid out by polite-yet-detached workers, and the linens on the beds were being changed and the couches were being thoroughly wiped down. Will people be naked off the bat? There are two ways to approach this situation: embarrassed awkward or excited awkward.

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We started drinking at 5pm. For the past, say, decade of my life, the idea of sex clubs has tantalized my brain. Beyond the private rooms were the group rooms complete with, you guessed it, club, pleather couches. I know how much it costs on any day for single females, couples, and single males sucks to be sex in this situation, gents.

That night, even with all of the unsexy and very rigorous boundaries in place, the whole point of this other than internet fame and bringing shame to my parents is to get laid. A lot of pleather and night that will instantly make me wish I brought my own Lysol wipes. Room after room of plush, king-sized beds greeted us, each with a different theme a space room, a safari room, a fully red rooma mirror on the ceiling, and a window where other people could watch you get it on.

I was dressed like sex slutty elf. As a couple of twentysomethings in a state where the average age of clubs is 42, we could have walked in wearing bags over our he and still been one of the hottest couples in the room. Black pleather couches. Laugh at the strangeness. My vision for these areas?

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She's an avid lover of holding grudges, sitting down, and buffalo chicken dip. Second of all, hot, young people are probably too busy being hot and young to spend an ungodly amount of money to watch strangers have sex on a Saturday night.

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Yeah, yeah—pun fully intended. Overall, was it hot?

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The only difference? The craziest part? I get to night for it!!!! Will there be beds with mirrors above them? While multiple couples and single females came up to us, no one was especially pushy or weird. I knew the price of cover. We could walk in and it be all things nose hairs and liver spots, or it could be firm asses and strong abs. Why did I go, then? What do I sex with my purse? In fact, it was just like any other situation: Light club talk and downing drinks.

Not yet, at least….

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What does this look like, amateur hour? Hell, I even knew the price of how much the minute Uber would cost to and from the venue. You betcha. Again, you guessed it: a dungeon with multiple cages, sex swings, chains, and a wall full of things like whips, gags, blindfolds, belts, and clamps.

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I knew the price of the drinks. Even though she's married, she doesn't suck. Ask questions. Yes, I had sex. As opposed to a normal bar or public event, everyone actually tried their best to look good.

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Couples will stampede over to me, tripping on their stripper heels and slipping across the lubed up floor to be the first to talk to me. Beyond that? With a firm dress code, the population obviously put effort into their appearances.

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Me a solid depending on the day and sex husband a 10 night it counts will either be the stars of the freaking show or the stubby outcasts. Now, obviously, as any closeted type-A could tell you, I know the prices of the club.

Whether it was watching parts of Eyes Wide Shut when my mom thought I was asleep, or clubs every piece of Fifty Shades like the basic betch I am, something about kinky sex has always fascinated me. Sure, there was still some, like when the brunette wearing nothing but pasties was talking to my husband about finance for 10 minutes, but in reality, it just made things more exciting.

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My estimated cost for the evening? And the most interesting kink of all was the sex club. Do we start making out on the dancefloor then go to a room or what? While it felt a little uncomfortable turning people down at first, in this environment it feels totally safe to ask for sex and to casually say no. Being set free post-tour to go to the bar and start flirting with strangers?

This particular place had two separate areas, the bar and the play areas. My clubs As soon as we walk in, a spotlight is going to land on me and sex night bar will let out a soft, slightly sexual gasp. The one way it differed from what I expected was how clean it was.

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And bonus points? Yes, it made our relationship stronger. Did people hit on me?

I went to a sex club – and here’s what happened

I had a feeling this would be the same, except elevated. Between surge pricing, after-drinking munchies, and the fact that I become a shot-buying whore the second liquor hits my lips, the damage was as painful as my post-sex club hangover.

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Turns out, the world did not stop turning the moment I crossed the threshold into the latex-scented caves.

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