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Name: Felisha
Years: 19

My friends assured me that the way to meet people was via the internet. A few days after setting up my online profiles, I decided to take them down. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter. This type of behavior — speaking before I could really think about my response — is something I found is common for many widows.

In closing

Do you have a story to share? In my case, that means you get a year-old widow with three young. But as I thought about whether to actually make my profile live, the bigger question remained unanswered. Shawn lingers over my life like a fog.

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My late husband is still part of my life I guess that encapsulates why it is so difficult to date a widow, especially a young one like me whose loss is so new. Am I supposed to avoid my loss entirely?

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My research into the best online dating sites for widows and widowers was not encouraging. Though I see his continuing presence in my life as a beautiful morning mist that surrounds me with love, I worry that my potential dates will see it as a murky haze that makes real communication impossible. What you see is what you get. My friends laughed along with me when the first photo we pulled up on one widow dating website was of a man who was clearly older than my father.

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But when I look at my digital options, I feel overwhelmed by even the seemingly small issues that arise all the time. Is he supposed to ask about my late husband?

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Cookie banner We use cookies and other tracking technologies to improve your browsing experience on our site, show personalized content and targetedanalyze site traffic, and understand where our audiences come from. Most of the formerly married people I see online are divorced.

Marjorie Brimley is a high school teacher and mother of three.

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What was I supposed to tell my date? Reddit Pocket Flipboard. Worse, might it draw creepy men, like the ones who pretended to be widowers and stalked my Facebook ? She spends her nights replaying the weird encounters that go along with being a recent widow and blogging about them at DCwidow.

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But most of the men in my potential dating pool are not widowed, and thus, it can feel impossible to explain how I might be able to move forward with someone new while also keeping a piece of my heart with my late husband. I was widowed at 38 and had plenty of dating years ahead of me. I knew dating as a widow would be difficult.

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A technique called deescalation could have saved her. Where were all the other young widows and widowers? Financial contributions from our readers are a critical part of supporting our resource-intensive work and help us keep our journalism free for all. Even if I manage to communicate that I am a widow before the first date, a load of baggage remains.

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To learn more or opt-out, read our Cookie Policy. I spent hours trying to figure out what to put in the forms online. I was at the cemetery when I decided to set up my first online dating profile. While I am of course okay with dating a divorced man, I have found that widows and divorcees have different points of view about the past.

Did I really want to do this? Another found love in a grief group, only to find out that the man was horribly demeaning and all they really shared was the incredible bad luck that brought them to the group. Recently, I met a handsome stranger and we got to talking about religion and spirituality. My husband died. A widower would understand this. Our mission has never been more vital than it is in this moment: to empower through understanding. The death of a spouse is more complicated. So the dilemma remains. Not surprisingly, it had the effect of stopping all conversation.

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But the hardest part surprised me. We use cookies and other tracking technologies to improve your browsing experience on our site, show personalized content and targetedanalyze site traffic, and understand where our audiences come from.

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The issue remains that my past relationship is not gone because either of us chose it. Before we started dating, Shawn was my friend, and he used to offer me dating advice. By choosing I Acceptyou consent to our use of cookies and other tracking technologies. It was true. I looked into more mainstream dating sites.

But would that scare men away?

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Yes, I could list that I was a widow on my profile. But what did I know about the world of online dating, from writing a catchy bio to appearing attractive in digital form? Maybe the real problem is that any affection I might feel for another man would always be shared, at least in some way.

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How do you put that on a profile? I guess that encapsulates why it is so difficult to date a widow, especially a young one like me whose loss is so new.

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First Person I help people decide if they want to have. As I dried my tears, I thought about Shawn. Read our submission guidelinesand pitch us at firstperson vox.

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Share this story Twitter Facebook. Divorce — even one that was amicable — severs a relationship with some degree of clarity and purpose. Of course it did.

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