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Name: Katleen
My age: 18

The girl's got verve, and it was impossible to stay cynical in her presence. I scan the room and the men think I'm looking at them. Help keep local journalism fighting for you. It's not easy. Au Boudoir Pen Road auboudoir. There were too many unflattering mirror angles. Mimicking Tara, I jumped my hips up above my head and straddled my legs, letting gravity lower my back onto the platform. Ultimately, Ryan was helpful in that he, of course, knows the owner of Cheeks. Wear fitted short shorts and the highest heels you own.

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Mentally, letting go and really getting into it demands more than embracing your body. I had pressing questions, such as, how the hell do you acquire the balls to do this stuff? Then he suggested that I was writing off potential suitors by subconsciously comparing them to my ex. Before leaving Boston, I broke up with a boyfriend who, for all his flaws, feverously enjoyed my body.

Nowadays, the only male attention I get comes from my year old roommate, Ryan, bitching about the dearth of hot, single women around here.

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After three months at Cheeks, she'd decided that superior pole skills were necessary for financial success. You can also specific staff members from our contact. Share on Pinterest. After confirming that Ryan was more bored than freaked out, I mounted the stage, fastened on a borrowed santa of 8-inch stilettos, hooked an ankle around the pole, gripped it with my hands, kicked the other leg out strip me, and spun with dizzying momentum. I asked Pepper if it's more important to have a peerless physique or to know how to use what you've got.

My DIY shorts kept riding up and my new hooker-heeled height of 6-footinches proved disorienting. A friend who worked as an exotic dancer once said that pole dancing gave her immense body confidence. My dear roommate refused to give me a free guest pass to Ojo Caliente unless I found a man to accompany me in the hot springs. Share on LinkedIn. Men club splits. Then I cringed at what my bare ass might look like in a split. With frequent encouragement and praise, Carmela broke down the elements of seductive walking, climbing, and spinning—all set to music ranging from Damien Rice to Cat Power.

I'm flexible.

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Pepper and I got right down to the meat of it. He'd arranged for me to meet Elmo, an affable businessman whose business happens to be women dancing on a stage in as little clothing as the law allows. Letters will be edited for space and clarity. I miss the heady sensation of being physically desired but, broadly, I just miss feeling sexy. True, there's nothing like mind-blowing sex with an adoring partner to make you feel wanted.

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But I'm looking at myself. But there's nothing like carving virgin powder to make you feel uninhibited. Working a pole requires flesh-to-metal friction. As the week progressed, a hollow feeling replaced my high. Her love of the craft was infectious.

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Share on Facebook. Next, I met Tara also a stage namea rail-thin college student who volunteers at an animal club and recently installed a stripper pole in her club. All my girlfriends are getting hitched. When I told an old santa that, at 24, I'd lost my swagger, she was dubious.

During a yogic savasana at the end of pole class, Carmela said, "Remember that no one can hold you as well as you can hold yourself. By Jennifer L Schwartz. What are the tricks of seduction? I double over, laughing with a mixture of fear and disbelief, using Pepper's naked shoulder for stability.

Exuding sexuality isn't dependent upon the act of sex itself, but a lack thereof certainly contributes to my funk. Share on Tumblr. I faced a disturbing reality: I haven't been on a strip in more than a year. Simulating the movements of sex in front of strangers made the performance seem boilerplate. I tried shimmying up the foot strips but only succeeded in bruising my shins. Use your eyes; bite your lip. I pulled on a pair of spandex shorts off which I'd hastily cut the legs before leaving the house, anticipating that something like this might happen.

Learning to pole dance would utilize my former training as a pole-vaulter and gymnast, but I wondered: Could it really invigorate my lackluster carnality? Several hours and a glass of whiskey later, I nervously entered my first strip club with Ryan in tow. He was joking, kind of.

I glide; I don't grind.

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Elmo shook my hand, looked me up and down, and asked when I wanted to start working. Share on Twitter. But showing skin and caressing a pole didn't make me feel as sexy as I did while hiking up and skiing down Ski Santa Fe the following morning. I changed out of my jeans and into an out-of-body mental state. Accentuate your best parts; touch them. Sexiness is your thing. Getting on all fours to arch my back, part my mouth and rapidly jiggle my butt shouldn't be a mundane maneuver.

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Support independent journalism by becoming a Friend of the Reporter. The girls, we seduce ourselves.

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Very slowly—slow is key—she strokes her breasts, her thighs, the back of her neck, while purposefully watching her fluid movements in the mirrors that line the perimeter of Santa Fe's only strip club. Share on. Hour-long pole dance classes are held at pm on Thursdays and at pm on Sundays, depending on demand. I can do splits. So I did. They applaud! I wanted to believe her and, after a week of facing myself in floor-to-ceiling mirrors, I'd become more attuned to my body.

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Using breathless, eloquent descriptions that reflect a college degree in poetry and the zeal of an exotic dancer who started working only two weeks ago, Pepper is demonstrating how she turns herself on. Adorable instructor Carmela Cristina Ventura quickly melted my attitude. I'm sitting in the VIP room at Cheeks on a Monday night, waxing philosophical about sex appeal with a pixie-faced girl whose stage name is Pepper. By the time I arrived at Au Boudoir for pole dance class, I was swimming in self-pity.

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I pivoted, gyrated, snaked and occasionally remembered to smile. Private lessons are also available. Since moving from Boston to the outdoorsy albeit middle-aged playground of Santa Fe a year ago, I've increasingly felt unwanted, frustrated and, recently, downright asexual. Gliding through fresh snow in the early light induced a giddy euphoria. I then made the mistake of informing Ryan about my research. The adrenaline was pumping, but I didn't feel erotic. Share on WhatsApp. Tara and Pepper offered to give me a pole dance lesson.

Through practice, they'd learned to command the recognition of their allure from an audience and, more crucially, from themselves. It requires repetition.

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Calling ahead is mandatory. You could tell she was new, according to a seasoned dancer, because she was wearing hot pants, not a g-string. No wonder Pepper and Tara looked so confident. If, like me, you only own Chaco sandals and cowboy boots, Au Boudoir carries an extensive selection of sky-high stilettos, lingerie, racy artwork, sex toys and other titillating goodies.

Every girl has her own style, her own tricks. The sun was rising and my qu were tight from the exertion. Instead of augmenting my sexuality, it disconnected me from it. Donate today to Friends of the Reporter.

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